Modesty? What Modesty?

This happened on December 29, 2009. I didn't get around to writing it down until the the second of January, 2010. However, I didn't get around to typing it up until the tenth of January, 2010. So here it is: the loss of my modesty for your amusement.

My mother and I received a gift card each for Addition-Elle at Christmas -- $200 for Mum and $50 for me. I've needed a new bra for a while now, so I decided to use my gift card to get a new boulder-holder. It's been a few years since I was properly sized for a bra (assuming that they grew another size up is basically how I've been measuring myself, teamed up with "Oh, so they no longer fit in this bra"), so the sales associate was kind enough to size me and then even pick out a few bras that she thought would probably work out. I refuse to tell you what size I turned out to be, since this story in itself is a little embarrassing.

So I take the aforementioned bras and head into a stall in the fitting room to try them. I get the second one on when I hear my mother.

'Oh, which one is she in?'

So I yell, 'in here!'

'You have one on?'

'Yuppers!'

'Well, lemme see it!'

So I throw my shirt back on and open the door. My mother takes a look at me and then snorts with amusement.

'OK, smart-ass,' she says.

Mum then walks forward.

WHOOSH!

I am suddenly without a shirt. In the middle of the Addition-Elle fitting room. Wearing only my jeans and the sluttest bra that was suggested to me. It's really only the sales associate and my mother, but really: it's the sales associate and my mother. So I do the only thing that struck me; I yelped and snapped at my mother.

'Dude, what the hell?'

Mum looked up at me and said, 'I'm sorry, kiddo, but you want a bra that fits properly.'

So the next thing that I remember having happened was that Mum was plucking rather violently at the straps of the bra and then peering (peering for fuck's sake!) between my breasts to judge the distance between me and the two underwires of the bra. She then starts to continually poke me where said underwires meet, sending me crashing backwards into the fitting room stall that I half-wanted to live in for the rest of my life.

The sales associate is actually being quite awesome about the entire thing; I think I even heard her chuckling a bit when I went crashing back into the stall, but I'm not too sure.

I know for a fact that I was completely silent for the duration of the prodding process, even after the three customers and second sales associate came through.

I kid you not; three other women came through, accompanied by their sales associate, who looked me up and down and then smiled and said, 'I think it looks good.'

Shut up; she was just being nice! -epic glare of death-

So, the other women are just minding their own business and going into stalls and stuff, but when they come out and I'm still there, they start giving opinions on it as well.

I bought that bra and GTFO.

FML.