Forgot my bags. My bad!

So, for those of you who don't know, I live in Canada and our grocery stores have stopped automatically providing shoppers with plastic bags. They now charge you five cents a bag when you want one; apparently charging us five cents for a plastic bag will save the environment. Anyway.

I went out to mail something for my dad and decided to drop into the grocery store for a bottle of Fuze (OMG DID I JUST PRODUCT NAME DROP!? :O) to have with my lunch and a couple of bottles of Coke (OMG! I did it again. What the FUCK is wrong with me!?) for later in the night. Because this was a spontanious shopping trip, I hadn't any of my re-usable grocery bags, and I don't wanna bother buying plastic bags, so I have to carry all my shit home.

So, of course, I'm wearing this monster of a winter coat (it's winter in Canada, which means that there is snow on the ground and there is a high wind chill that can actually turn you into ice) that has pockets big enough to smuggle people across borders. So I figure I'll drop a bottle of Coke in each pocket and carry the Fuze 'cause I know myself well enough to know that I'll start drinking it on the way home. So I drop the bottles in my pockets and leave the store.

Understand something about how my neighbourhood is set up. My grocery store is about seven minutes away from my house (if you're walking) in this sleazy-looking stripmall. Which is behind my old secondary school (or high school if you prefer). My old secondary school now has a police officer that patrols the school inside and out. Tell me you see where I'm going with this.

Officer Raff is a pretty cool guy. Like, we facebooked each other and everything. However, he is also amazing at his job. I have the luck to pass him on my way home from the grocery store. With my pockets full of bottles of Coke. We say hey as we pass and then he stops me. And it occurs to me that I really should have kept my receipt instead of tossing it into the garbage can on the way out of the store.

So I'm standing there with my Fuze in one hand and my pockets bulging with what looks like stolen grocery store products. Raff looks at my pockets and says, 'having a party later?'

Needless to say, I almost died. And that is my near-theft-and-almost-caught experience.